You may have heard of parents waiting until their children go to college before dissolving their marriage. Does this mean there is a better or worse time for parents to divorce if they have minor children? And, if your marriage is in trouble, should you wait for your kids to achieve a “better age” before filing for divorce from your spouse?
In truth, divorce affects kids of all ages, whether a child is an adult or under three years. Even if you wait for your child to go to college to go through a divorce, they may still face difficulties.
Effects differ by age
Even though there is no “better or worse age” for divorce for children, it’s important to understand that kids experience different effects depending on their age and developmental stage.
For example, some people believe that young kids, from months old to three years old, don’t notice what’s happening or remember divorce. But this may not be true. If they had established strong bonds with both parents, if one is suddenly no longer around as often, they may notice the difference. This may make them more clingy, insecure and angry.
Preschoolers (three to six years old) typically view divorce as their fault. They may believe it’s their responsibility to resolve the differences between their parents. Thus, at this age, a child may start to struggle in more obvious ways and start to ask tough questions.
Kids aged six to 12 are old enough to remember the good and the bad times. Therefore, they are likely to blame one parent for the divorce and, in turn, may pick sides.
If you have a teenager when going through a divorce, you may deal with risky behaviors and mental health issues.
Regardless of the age of your kids when going through divorce, you can learn how to help them cope with it better by seeking support and crafting a thoughtful parenting plan that takes their unique needs into consideration.