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Communication patterns that can indicate marital issues

On Behalf of | Sep 26, 2019 | Divorce

It is incredibly common for individuals to waver back and forth about whether they really want to divorce their spouse or not. They wonder if they can make the relationship work or they start to doubt the feelings that led them to consider a divorce in the first place.

Every relationship is different. And each person has different emotions and reasons for wanting to end a marriage. However, there are some common indicators in how spouses communicate that often lead individuals to consider getting a divorce.

General breakdowns in everyday communication

When spouses become emotionally distant, they might find it challenging to be open with their spouse. And if they avoid discussing how they feel with their spouse, this can make communication feel like a strained and stressful task.

This can lead to a breakdown in communication regarding important matters, including:

  • Their children’s needs and events in the children’s lives
  • Any financial issues, such as spending habits or filing taxes
  • Each spouse’s specific emotional needs

These breakdowns of communication about small things can quickly lead to much larger arguments.

Having the same argument or conflict

Consistently having the same argument about significant issues, such as money management or differing values, is often a sign that spouses might not take the time to find a resolution for the conflict.

A lack of conflict-resolution strategies or efforts can be severely detrimental to both spouses and the relationship itself. It increases the tension between the spouses and could even increase the chances of other conflicts arising.

Attacking and criticizing the spouse excessively

Many marriage therapists see excessive criticism as a telltale warning sign of a divorce. However, there two primary types of criticism:

  • Attacking the person instead of their behavior: This often builds from long-term frustration. For example, one spouse might generalize that the other is an irresponsible parent if they were late to pick their child up from school. This is often a concerning issue in a marriage, but it is not often as harmful as the other type.
  • Deliberately hurting the other person: When a spouse purposefully insults or humiliates their spouse consistently, this is a significant sign of psychological abuse.

Rampant criticism can affect someone’s mental and physical health. And if a marriage negatively impacts one’s health, that might be a sign to consider a divorce.

Knowing when it is time to pursue a divorce can be difficult. But the attorneys at Bowen Ten Long & Bal, PC, can effectively guide Virginians through this challenging and stressful time in their lives while reducing their stress and looking out for their future.